t’s called risk taking .That jumping off an airplane with a parachute all the time imagining you are holding a baloon. Closing your eyes and falling backwards trusting, believing that you will be caught . Sometimes you have to do it . Sometimes you have to take risks and go on an adventure . Sometimes you have the choice to take it and other times you have no choice but to take it . Sometimes you wonder “well, what do I lose?” , other times you wonder “What if I lose?”, and still other times you wonder ” I will lose all “.

That is it . I know it . We are fragile . Just like pollen. We are dispersed here and there ,, floating along ever so lightly in the wind , till our spot is unoccupied, like we never existed . Just like the mist . Just like the plants in the field . Just like bread, fresh out the oven and into the stomach and bye. But..but we are never forgotten .

Because ? Well, because I have your hair counted .I Have your days numbered . I watch over you dear fragile human , breakable earthenware. Clay in my hands, I do know you . I know your sitting down and your lying down my bride .Beautiful one . Fear not because nothing is high enough to separate me from you . Nothing wide enough . No gulf . I made all that and I am telling you mountains melt like wax before me . I will be with you even unto the ends of the earth .

That is why I take risks . That is why I will trust in the one who is my sherpherd. That is why I can walk through the valley of shadows. Shadows. Shadows of death . But there are quiet streams also and I will have no want . He told me . I believe it . I am telling you . Believe it . I will throw my life into the wind , because the wind is His and He will catch me . He will catch me and I will not fall or dash my feet against a stone .


The danger in happiness.

Happiness is a dangerous state to be in. Maybe you haven’t heard that before,maybe you have. Either way, you are reading it now and that is a good thing,because you need to know that happiness is not a thing to play with.

Happiness can cause forgetfulness of sad times. Why should that be a bad thing? Am I a sadist? No , for us to truly appreciate our happiness, we should truly understand how exactly happiness changed our sad state. We need to remember that even now that things are going well with us , we are not independent and self sufficient. It is easy to forget when you are laughing and chewing food so easily that hunger as a literal and abstract concept has not disappeared from the earth. That trouble with swallowing and even lack of hands to put food in one’s mouth is a problem for many people. That you can do it easily without a thought should not be taken for granted.Happiness can make you forget that such little things are truly big things.

How many happy people feel urgency in the spirit? If a man is in trouble or has an urgent need, will he not search frantically for help? Through prayers, from people. Yes, he will. A happy person? Not much. How easy it is to skip so many important things when you are happy. How interesting does the book of Isaiah seem when all you see is the sunlight?

I am not against happiness or having things in your life finally going the way you have always wanted. After the dark night , there should be Light and just as your days with dark clouds were long, so should your days of laughter be. But be careful you do not lose your need for God. That you do not lose the urgency you need to live life to please God. To make yourself more useful to His kingdom. Because you have no need to pray tears of prayer for yourself does not mean you should take things easy. Be as active in your happiness as you were in your time of lack and want and sorrow.


It was dark. A very dark night . Nights are usually dark unless you are a star. I opened the window. There is something about a lone figure close to a window on a chilly night .Darkness is my territory. I become an actor that no one sees. With my hands under my chin , elbow on the window sill, I pretend I am a character from an old book watching over the city . I am that young man who has an obnoxious boss in the office , waiting to drain away my talents at work that is dreadfully wearying. I am a good villain , waiting to take over the world and be a superstar. Only thing against me is reality . Reality is never the same as the things I fantasize about . For one, I have got bills to pay and cannot spend so much time dreaming .

If I had the chance to look into graves, what would I see? Dead bones coming alive? Rot? Dirt ? Or would I see me ? The future me . I would die , wouldn’t I?

Palpitations. I get those sweaty palms quite often . I know someone’s watching. It feels contemplative, that stead stare at me, but yet I cannot see it . I don’t know what exactly . Reminds me of the one time I broke my mother’s golden earrings . Quite expensive. I told her the bag broke it . It doesn’t have to be massive , but that is how lies sprout. One lie after the other and here I am , but someone’s watching. Gives me the chills .

I don’t know if today is a good day to talk about it, with me supposedly being a villain and all , but I kill to make a living. Maybe I don’t need to. Maybe there is always a way out as they say . Maybe I was a coward to try to find it . But I am weak this night. Darkness has a way of showing me . Ironic isn’t it? Darkness has covered me long enough and I see in it . But what do I really see? What can I really boast of seeing ? With eyes distorted .Sigh…

Death and Destruction lie open before the LORD– how much more do human hearts! Those words scare me and draw me at the same time . Maybe I need God . This night. Maybe I need the Light .
…but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you.


We all want to belong and fit in someplace. i know this statement has been so overused, I can see the stitches coming off. The rest of us pride ourselves with being the misfits, the outcasts, without realizing that we are also saying we wish to belong somewhere, with our own kind. Anomaly.

Truth is, for our sanity and our own good, we need to belong somewhere. Just like a hug that reduces your blood pressure when given by a loved one, knowing that someone else views life through a lens that is similar to yours, gives you the courage to talk about what you see after viewing without feeling like you need to travel to the moon to meet your other alien relatives. Basically, it validates your ideas in a way. It tells you that you are alright. Yes, you. You can exist because you are not so strange afteral.

Now, all of us noses and arms and lips and feet need to unite and do something great for our body, because that is what we do. It is the unique power of a part in a whole, where I tell you , you cannot breathe without me being joined to you an you tell me that if you were not pumping blood,breathing would be the least of my worries. Okay, that won’t happen because you see, we cannot talk like that to each other if not we both lose.In such a community , there should be respect and integrity minus manipulation. That is what makes this a church and not a cult.

So what about a cult?A cult exists and survives through control and manipulation. It promises its members uniqueness Friendship,help, but it promises dependence, one that on a long run is unhealthy because of the self destructive manipulative spirit it runs on. But as I throw away the idea of a cult, I still want to pick out that deep issue. The question of identity that pushes people to seek to join one.

Who are you?
You are a human being, made in the image of God. You have an identity and a purpose. Your identity is so secure that even when you were formless, you had books written about your days on earth. You don’t need to be enticed by signs and symbols to matter as a person. You don’t need the predictability of laid down rules to live life.All you need is to find your identity in the Christ.

I call her…

I call her sexy.
The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and so I figured that telling her she was sexy was the way to go . All women are the same. Tell her she is sexy, her mind is quite redundant. That should be fine. Maybe tell her she is pretty as the moon. All girls like that. You see, I barely think about what the word means, with all of us throwing it underneath her picture, whistling it as she passed along her street. Who would have known she felt unsafe when she thought that what we saw when we looked at her was a woman in our bedrooms. No bother, we are not even planning to get married to her. Sexy. Why I call her sexy. It’s pretty harmless. Why make a big deal about it. Cars are sexy, houses are sexy, why make a big deal out of nothing? Well, maybe you have a point. When you think about though… Sexy.. Appealing..sexually appealing…attractive. But why didn’t I say attractive?No big deal. Why sexy? Does this show something my heart is naturally inclined to? Even as joke? Come on duh! Its just a joke chill. Really? What is our aim ? What is the question? Is it to see how much we can get away with, without it being ungodly or is it the question of striving to see what brings God the glory. Maybe you say it thoughtlessly,maybe you don’t say it with the intention of getting laid. Maybe you really don’t mean anything or maybe you do. What is sexy? Examine what comes into your mind when you say sexy. Who are you calling sexy?Is it really right? You tink?

Ma cherie

Gall. Bitter. Ma cherie.My wife.Do you know those masks strapped across the mouth? Imagine you are struggling with the piece of white cloth, tough like a piece of towel gagging you.He wouldn’t let you go, would he? You are struggling now, my bride . He is pulling your hands to your back. He wants to put the cuffs on you, doesn’t he? You are making those sounds.No ,no , let me go ! Please don’t hurt me. He is shovelling it now into your mouth now. Say it, he keeps urging you on. Say it. It reminds you of the picture of the snake in the wine glass. How scary. Will it not bite?You turn your face,but he turns it back. Say it. Say it.

Ma cherie, my bride. Spit it. Spit it into my hands . I touch spit. I heal with spit. Like I did the man who was blind. I will heal your mouth of bitterness and swearing.How does bitter water and sweet water flow from the same source? Doesn’t the linen cling to the loins ? My bride. My bride? Let the words of your mouth be acceptable to me for every man shall give an account on that day. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. I break the bonds . I save you from sin. I am not just your forgiver,but your deliverer. Speak life and not curse words. Speak life, my bride.