My cynicism- Aweblue

Aweblue, 

I am sorry if I write in a hurry, like in the days of true letter writing, or if I write too often, but I am feeling unwell and unstable and I need to get this all out. I don’t know who has done this thing to me, or why I am so excited these days about things, but it has been done, whatever this thing is and I am under it’s power. Somewhere it is believed that anger is a sign of life in a body and if something can cause this emotion to spring up, it means that life is still worth living, because you have an interest in it. The opposite would be apathy.

There is a quote I read earlier this morning by Maya Angelo. She wrote : There is nothing quite so tragic as a young cynic because it means the person has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing. George Carlin says : Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. This feels like a big coincidence because only yesterday I tweeted about my cynicism. Again, the internet does not disappoint with following up. I am upset that I feel physically ill if I am not exaggerating here. Like I feel so let down by current events.

When I was growing up, Aweblue and I imagine when you were growing up, you had this desire too. You must have, like me wanted to meet famous people; presidents, writers, singers, dancers and the likes. You must have idolized them and thought them immortal, even better than your parents. It has always been a flaw of young minds to see stars as perfect, but as you grew older, as I have, you came to realize that they too made mistakes, sometimes even worse than your parents, for the mere reason that their platform was  bigger. They can harm more people just as they can do good to more people because of the size of their audience. Well, I have had this illusion shattered countless times by people I have idolized and have had to pick myself up. Sure, they did not ask for us to put them on the podium and worship them, and as an adult I know better now than to do just that, but once in a while, you just want to have a hero, someone you could talk about and be proud of, and this does not happen.
I will be frank with you Aweblue, but the thing I am getting at is the man, the writer Wole Soyinka. I have read few books by this man, books I have no remembrance of because I read them long ago, and I have not had any interest to read any now because I have not been able to acquire a taste for his style of writing. I think he writes very well, from the little scrapes I have managed to read, but this should be disassociated from the man himself. As a personality, as a human, he is still subject to scrutiny under what we would call society’s morality. Wole Soyinka is a man who says he hates a man when he actually does. If he finds a man repulsive, he states that plainly. If he thinks a country is made of a sizeable proportion of nitwits, he does this with no tremor in his heart. This is all fine, as we live in a society where free speech is said to be valued. What I have a problem with is hypocrisy. If a man wants people to take him seriously as an adviser in all things moral and good for society, you would expect him to be blameless. If he finds fault in the lies of another man and in the careless way that man speaks, you would expect him to be careful with his, but this is not so.

Recently, Wole Soyinka, said in an interview that he would call a press conference if Trump wins and tear his green card. This he said after telling a story about some other man who did something similar. Trump has won, but our man has not kept to his word. Wole gave an interview yesterday saying that he made this statement to a group of oxford students and was speaking metaphorically . This may be true, but that is not our business. We are concerned with the one he made in the video to a Ghanaian man. How much do I have to be a crook to say to a friend : I will call you in the next five minutes , and after he has waited and called to find out why I haven’t called, I say to him that I was speaking metaphorically? 

Some people say that this is unimportant and will change nothing at all, but I disagree because I find it deeply troubling that a man with education and with enough sophistication to be able to use words to his advantage and throw literary devices thinks that the majority of his audience are stupid and cannot see beyond the obtuseness of his speech. I feel insulted that someone would think that he is so intelligent to lie his way through and that meandering through unrelated topics will make us forget our initial question of when? Or will you keep to your words and not be double minded? Can you be trusted? I am wary now of trusting his tales about the places he has been and his activities, because who knows what has been distorted conveniently in his mind?
Aweblue, I am not blameless. I think I lie too without meaning to and say things out of turn but I would hope that if I am ever confronted with this, that I would not feel too big to apologize. If I am ever called out and mocked at and fingers pointed at me saying that I once called out Wole, but look at me now doing the same thing, I would be embarrassed but I should be able to say plainly that I spoke out of turn and I am sorry. Insulting people should not be the way to go.

Jesus himself says we will account for every word we have spoken. This is a serious matter of integrity and I am disappointed. I think the events of these few days have taught me to think things through for myself more. This is all I have to say, Aweblue.
Blue.

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2 responses

  1. Hi, I can totally relate to this. I have found that one has to go through several disappointments such as this especially as a young person. Maya’s quote is so on point. One would try to separate the work from the person but inevitably, one has to come to true realisation that they’re not perfect.

    In a world where we all look for something or someone to look up to, I am learning to pick my heroes carefully.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If at all we should pick heros, that is. Even villains have admirable qualities. Maybe we should pick out qualities of different people and exalt that and forget about the people who own them. But yes, we’re definitely made to worship and admire people and things. It can really be difficult

    Like

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