Revel

Hi, invisible and visible fam. I knew I would never get to writing this if I didn’t write it, so I will write it? And these first few sentences will read rushed because I need to get the words- any words down before I can be picky with my choice of words. I am sick. This is no news. I seem to always be ill. But I don’t have a reason to be sick, yet I have a fever that doesn’t want to let go and go down, and so we’re here–stuck and just there, thinking about how life has treated us so far and what being twenty two means. It means nothing, I tell you, because it just about means a lot of things and that is just too much to mean anything substantially personal or unique. I know however that it has been recommended to me–and I am not opposed to it that…anyway, truth be told, I am under great compulsion to turn 23 in a month’s time. A younger friend by three months has already turned 23 without my permission and this is frightening and a sin of double crossing. Yes, she has received the warning and knows I don’t like to feel older than I am and so she should learn to enjoy being younger still while I reach the mark and set the pace. Lol, Titi, I really did spend the paragraph on this. Shameless me.
As an old  person now, I now see that it’s never too late to start anything. For all the failed attempts to get anything done; my exercise routine, my face massage routine, my learning new things etcetera( I’m pretty bored writing this 🙂 – another part of old age) I’ve realized I can start at any time. I no longer feel like bullying myself into accepting defeat at how much could have changed and where I would have been if I had started three months ago for example. It’s better when there is no pressure, no sickening need for results. That’s only when anyone can do anything happily. So I hope I never have to make decisions like : you know what , from tomorrow my life will change drastically, I will start doing so and so. Frankly, it won’t work and I don’t need that extreme and upsetting change. 
There are things we should never aspire to. Like what you have. I’m not a short girl with 4c afro hair. Will never have a full head of that kind of thick, tightly coiled hair because my hair has some straightened texture in it which is a bit confusing. I have a mixture of hairs on my head, and that’s fine. I don’t have the stamina to do many things and that too is fine. The rest I cannot mention because I want to sleep( the cheek!) but I’m accepting all those things and moving on to use the things I have whilst appreciating those who have other things. 

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